how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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