And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
