At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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