somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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