That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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