But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
