Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I want her autograph on my taint
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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