hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
