How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
