fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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