im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
