I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
