Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
love makes seman taste better
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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