I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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