Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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