I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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