too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
