Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
