Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
