the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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