Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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