Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
