I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
