I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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