Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
