Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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