My friends, they love my intelligence
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It all started with a game of naked twister.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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