It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
