he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I want her autograph on my taint
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
