I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
