the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
