It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
