No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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