okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
