Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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