I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
