the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
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