"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
