The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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