I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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