I hate your face
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
