"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
