Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
