But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
