You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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