I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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