Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
