First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just gargled with NyQuil
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
