i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
