Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
