remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
