who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
