Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
