We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Randomize
