We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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