These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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