I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
