i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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