Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you didnt know i had herpes?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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