would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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