mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
