I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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