I love black thongs
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
